Tag: Social Intelligence

Most Expensive Lunch Ever

Most Expensive Lunch Ever

This week someone paid $3,300,100.00 to have lunch with Warren Buffett.

Now that is an expensive lunch.

It was for a charity auction, in fact, it is the 19th time Warren Buffett has auctioned off lunch.

It got me to thinking about what questions I would ask Mr. Buffett. Figuring, this is your typical business lunch, I would have approximately ninety minutes to learn as much as possible from the Oracle of Omaha.

Most of us will never get the chance to have lunch with Warren Buffet. However, we will all have an opportunity to meet with people who could influence our careers and our lives. Every month, I talk with individuals who are looking for advice in their careers, or their leadership skills.

I hate it when people ask stupid questions, like how long have you been working at True Star Leadership? It means that they haven’t taken time to check my LinkedIn Profile or website (truestarleadership.com). Maybe it’s not stupid, just lazy.

For us to use the time wisely, we need to have a plan. Here are six things we should always do no matter whom we are meeting.

  • Decide on Your Goal: What information or help do you need from this person to help you move closer to your goal? What is their expertise or area of interest that you want to utilize?
  • Do your research: Learn more about the person you are meeting. Even if you just do a review of their LinkedIn Profile, at least get to know them. If they have a book, blog post, interview or website, check it out. The better you know them, the better questions you can ask.
  • Be Prepared with Questions: Based on your goal and what you know about your subject, prepare some questions to start the conversational ball rolling. For instance, I once had the opportunity to meet Marshall Goldsmith, because I knew he had accumulated millions of airplane reward miles, I asked him his advice on how to make the best use of plane time. This lead to a conversation about time management and its benefits.
  • Listen More: If you talk a lot, you will miss hearing the wisdom of the person who you are meeting and will not move any closer to your goal. Let them speak and carefully guide the conversation, so you get what you need.
  • Act: In your meeting, most likely you will get advice or useful information that will help you be more successful. Take thirty minutes after the meeting to put the advice into action, even if it is just making a note to yourself about what you need to do the next day.
  • Thank them. When you leave, thank the individual with whom you met. When you get home, send a handwritten thank-you note expressing your gratitude.

 

If I were paying almost $37,000 per minute to talk to anyone, I would want to get my money’s worth. Even if I am buying coffee for someone, I want to make sure I am using my time and their time wisely.

Good Luck Networking,

John

PS: I am always open to good conversation – click here to schedule time with me.

Emotional Intelligence: Awareness

Emotional Intelligence: Awareness

A little more than a year ago, Jeff Lurie, the owner of the Philadelphia Eagles fired his head coach Chip Kelly before the end of the season, a rare act in the prestigious NFL football league. The reason Mr. Laurie gave for firing Mr. Kelly was Emotional Intelligence.

The term Emotional Intelligence has been used in the corporate world for years to help executive and managers to lead their organization better. It first became attention to the business community through the work of Daniel Goleman and his 1995 breakthrough book titled Emotional Intelligence.

According to Laura A. Belsten, Ph.D. of the Institute for Social & Emotional Intelligence, Social and Emotional Intelligence is the ability to be aware of our emotions and those of others, at the moment, and to use that information to manage ourselves and manage our relationships. Simply put Emotional Intelligence is your awareness of your emotions and making the appropriate behavioral choice for the situation.

As you define your goals for 2017, make sure to include increasing your Emotional Intelligence. The benefits include better relationships, handling change better, being a better leader and most importantly getting better results at work and home.

The first step to increasing your Emotional Intelligence is to become aware of your emotions and the behavioral choices you are making based on them.

One of the best ways to understand your emotions is to acknowledge the emotions you are experiencing. This can be done in a formal manner by writing down your emotions at regular intervals through the day. For example, in the morning, midmorning, early afternoon, later afternoon, after dinner and at bedtime. Or less formally you can recap your day writing down all the different emotions you experienced and when.

Secondly after acknowledging your emotions for a week or two, start to assessing when you are experiencing those different emotions. Do you consistently get anxious when meeting with your supervisor? Do you constantly feel grumpy when you first wake up? Are you happiest when you are making progress at work?

Now, think back to any behavior changes that can be contributed to those emotions. For instance, you tried to start your monthly results oriented staff meeting, and two of your managers came in fifteen minutes late. What emotions were you feeling? Were you frustrated; were you annoyed; were you incensed; did you feel disrespected?

How did you react? Did you berate them in from of your other staff? Did you ignore them to the detriment of the meeting? Later, did you cut them out of important decisions?

As the emotions and behaviors become more linked in your daily life, you can start making choices on how you want to handle certain situations. For instance, if you know when people are late to meetings, you will feel disrespected; you can make choices on how you want to react? You can get angry if you think that will benefit the situation but more likely, you can let the slight go at the moment and focus on the message you need to deliver.

This exercise takes practice and will not be easy at first but as time passes and you become more aware of your emotions you can start making better choices.

We are not sure what particular aspect of emotional intelligence Chip Kelly is missing. We do know that in the future that if Mr. Kelly works on his emotional intelligence, he can increase his performance; build a stronger relationship with his players; have the ability to handling conflicts and focus his energy on winning games.

If, in 2016, you would like to increase your emotional intelligence and achieve all the goals you have set for yourself, please reach out to me at john@o3consultingllc.com, or one of the many Institute of Social and Emotional Intelligence Coaches at ISEI.com.