“Are you ready to be coached?”
“Yes. Of course, I am. I mean, I think I am. Is it that hard?”
Being coached is hard. You need to open yourself to change your behavior to improve your performance. Coaching is the ability to listen to another’s perspective and use that information to make internal adjustments to your behavior to better your performance. Marshall Goldsmith, the #1 Executive Coach in the World, has an exercise he taught me called the Daily Questions. In short, it is a list of behavioral changes that you agree to work to improve every day. When he gives out this assignment, he notes that only fifty percent of individuals last more than two weeks using this system. It is not difficult. The system is not time-consuming. It takes no more than ten minutes to complete. All you do is rate yourself on a scale of one to ten on this simple question for each behavior, “Did you do your best to change your behavior?”
So why do people fail in completing this simple task?
For some, it is a lack of discipline. Although the individual knows that changing these behaviors will allow them to reach their goal, they cannot find the discipline to do this on a regular basis. In fact, Marshall falls into this category. He had to hire an accountable coach who is responsible for calling him each evening to make sure he has completed this simple task. This may seem like an extreme measure but think about how important your goals are to you and what success looks like.
For others, it is hard to recognize our habitual failures. We don’t want to look in the mirror and admit that we were not able to resist that last chocolate chip cookie or do a better job delegating at work, or the ability to listen well. I fell into this category when I first tried doing the exercise, I was afraid of admitting that I was not doing my best to reach my goal and I was responsible for not being successful.
So how do we continue to improve if we can’t handle this simple exercise? The best way is to create a level of accountability that will help you move toward your goal. This can be done by asking someone to invest in your improvement, this could be a mentor, coworker, friend, or even spouse. Unfortunately, we need to remember that they are not as invested in obtaining our goal as we are.
Another way is to find a group of like-minded people who are also on the same journey as you. Your Tribe. For instance, if you are trying to lose weight, go to a gym and find like-minded people and work out together to reach your goals. Or join a mastermind group or peer advisory group that is working toward similar goals and that will hold you accountable. I am always amazed at the number and diversity of mastermind groups available to people. (Learn more about mastermind here).
Lastly, you can invest in an accountability/personal coach to work with you to help you reach your goal. The benefits of working with a coach are that they are trained to help individuals improve their performance. They know how to ask insightful questions, open you up to what is holding you back and provide you the support you need to be successful. (Learn more about coaching here)
So, I leave you this question — Are you willing to be coached to reach your goals?
In this book, Marshall Goldsmith shares his experience coaching executives and how they create behavior that lasts to become the person they want to be and how we can do the same. Click here for more information
In this book, Seth Godin introduces us to the importance of like-minded people and how by working together we can achieve better results than we can by working alone. click here for more information
Great Video on being our better selves. Learn the difference between the performance zone and the learning zone and by switching between the two we can start improving the things we most care about. click here for more information